I live with a mind that is intelligent, observant and creative. A mind that sorts, organizes, labels, solves and explores. It never settles. It searches and creates and it learns. It is also broken.
My foundation has cracks in it; every ramble, stirring or shake works it ways through my entire being multiplying in strength along the way. Every couple steps forward, I am met with opposition. A fierce competitor denying me of my dreams, energy, hope and gifting me with apathy. It leaves me disconnected and exhausted.
You are a beautiful writer and I’m grateful you shared this piece of your work. I connect with a lot of what you said here. There were times for me where I felt like believing I would get better and then not getting better was worse than the actual depression! And it’s really hard to have so many wonderful ideas and creative visions and not be able to follow through on most of them. I’m doing pretty well now. I’m better at having compassion for myself, my meds seem to be working, I’ve got a wonderful support network, and I’m moving my body (exercising) pretty regularly. I’m still kind of isolated and want to connect with more people. Anyway, good luck with your writing!